The Affirmation Game I Play with My Kids to Build Their Confidence

I’ve started playing an affirmation game with my children. As the oldest 2 kids in my house are nearing school age, I’ve noticed some changes in their self esteem. One is afraid of everything: at 4 years old, he still sleeps with us and won’t go upstairs on his own. The other has rock bottom confidence and self esteem. They both whine often and cry over mundane things. They claim they can’t do things that I know they can and feign helplessness over the simplest of things.

This was driving me crazy. So, I sat and thought about it. In other words, about how all of these things stem from the mindset of low self esteem and how I could help improve their confidence levels on a daily basis. The solution came to me quite quickly and it’s been helping tremendously.

The Affirmation Game as a solution

I’ve started to play a game of affirmations with them. It started out on one of our walks. I always take them for a walk to burn energy in the mornings. During this time, I try and take the opportunity to talk to and encourage them, quizzing them on various subjects and explaining aspects of life. 

They call it the “I am” game and it’s really quite simple. I explained to them in the beginning that I was going to say “I am” and they had to come up with something good that I am to complete the affirmation game. If they take more than 10 seconds to come up with something, I always help fill in the blanks. Soon, they didn’t need my help anymore.

• I am…BRAVE!
• I am…KIND!
• I am…SMART!

They ring out happily! They even request to play. But at first they weren’t so receptive to the game. Because I had to do most of the playing myself in the beginning, I would say an affirmation and have them repeat it.

The Affirmation Game rules

They would resist the affirmations that held falsehood to them. Replying with “No, I’m not smart” or “No, I’m not brave”. 

I would then get on their level and explain to them how they are indeed smart or brave (whatever was causing problems with them) and help them to understand why that was true. This exercise really helps you understand what type of self image they hold for themselves so that you can help them reform it.

They didn’t go from “I’m no brave” to “Oh! Ok then! I AM brave!” instantly. Just like we can’t jump from one extreme to the opposite. They needed time to adjust to the change in belief but after a few days of the game, I started getting a sheepish grin and a whisper of the affirmation.

The results

Now, they love the game and bellow out the affirmations for everyone to hear with little to no interaction from me. They’ll say they want to play the “I am” game and once I say okay, they immediately start yelling out affirmations. 

It warms my heart to see their security in self growing and it I’m so glad I was able to have a part in helping them build it. 

So many of us have self image problems as adults and most of us have struggled with this for our entire lives. As parents and caregivers, it’s important for us to take the time to ensure that our children don’t develop the same shortcoming belief system that society and media pushed onto us. 

Ensuring now, at such a young age, that they believe in themselves and their capabilities can make all the difference in the world when it comes to how well they do in life as they grow and as adults. 

With such a simple game that has so many grand benefits. For them and for the world they will inherit.